In Flagrante Delectable by Alex Hirst & Sam Wain

A missing scene from Detour that I can’t find again.  This may have been for a good reason.  I’m assuming it was intentionally written as badfic.


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Title: In Flagrante Delectable

Authors: Alex Hirst ([email protected]) and Sam Wain ([email protected])

Spoilers: Detour

Category: MSR

Rating: 18

Summary: A missing scene from Detour that was filmed, but ultimately cut (we wish!!!)

Archive: Any/everywhere, just let us know where so we can visit and be all proud!

Disclaimer: I made this!

“I was told once that the best way to regenerate body heat,” said Mulder hopefully,”is to crawl naked into a sleeping bag with someone who’s already naked.”

“Maybe if it rains sleeping bags you’ll get lucky,” said Scully.

“Hey! What was that?” cried Mulder as something fell out of the sky and hit him on the head with a soft thump.

“You’ll never guess what?”


“It’s a sleeping bag! Somebody up there is listening to me!” exclaimed Scully.

“Well, you did promise…”said Mulder, waggling his eyebrows at her suggestively.

Scully stood up and sighed.

“I’ll give you something to look at!” she teased as she began to undress.

She slowly unzipped her coat and let it drop to the floor before shrugging out of her t-shirt.

Mulder growled his appreciation from the floor, shifting uncomfortably as his jeans began to grow too tight around the area of his crotch.

Scully stripped off her bra and threw it at his head as she turned her back to him. He pressed the silky material to his nose and inhaled deeply before putting them in his pocket for future reference.

She began to unzip her trousers, wiggling her arse a little for his benefit, then kicked her legs free of them as she took her knickers off and stood before him shockingly naked. That was one of Mulder’s long-term questions answered;yes, she really was a red-head.

“Your turn!” she said, walking towards him.

“But I’ve got a poorly arm!” wailed Mulder, helplessly.

“Let me help you,” she told him as she unfastened his belt buckle. “Either you’ve started carrying your gun in a very peculiar place Agent Mulder, or you’re just happy to see me!”

“I’m happy!” he quickly assured her.

“Let’s keep it that way,” she smiled as she unzipped his jeans and reached inside. Mulder began to purr as she took hold of his enormous erection and began gently stroking it.

She shoved the jeans the rest of the way down his legs and pulled off the rest of his clothes. As she threw down his jacket, two dice fell out, glowing in the dark like fissile plutoninimium beacons in the night.

“What do we have here?” asked Scully, picking them up.

“Dice,” said Mulder, stating the obvious.

She rolled the dice and came up with ‘lick’ and ‘ear’.

Mulder grunted as she began licking the inside of his ear then squeaked as she bit his earlobe before reaching behind to wash the back of his ear where his glasses would rest.

She was still gnawing on him when he reached for the dice and threw his roll, getting ‘suck’ and ‘chest’.

He leaned forward and nuzzled both of Scully’s breasts in turn before finally settling on the left one and taking the nipple into his mouth, suckling on it gently. She sighed and ran her fingers through his hair, drawing him closer to her as he began to suck harder, his cheeks hollowing with the effort.

A few minutes later, he shifted his attention to her right breast and continued suckling as she grabbed the dice so that she could have her turn. She got ‘nibble’ and ‘neck’.

Mulder released her breast and she pulled him up so she could reach his neck and began nibbling under his jaw and licking at his Adam’s Apple while he reached for the dice once more. He rolled ‘tickle’ and ‘?’.

Scully squealed in delight as he leaned down to obey the rules of the dice and moaned as he gently tickled her clit.

After a few minutes, he decided to make up his own rules and he rubbed her in a clockwise direction, making her groan, then moving down to slip first two, then three fingers inside her.

“God, you’re so wet,” he groaned as he pumped his fingers in and out, gently bumping her clit with his palm and making her crazy with need.

“Mulder…Mmmmmmulder…” she mumbled, grinding herself into his hand which was sticky with her juices.

He started moving faster, sensing her impending climax and she thrust against his hand, her moans growing longer and higher in pitch before she arched her back and screamed his name as she came.

He held her as she trembled in his arms, coming down from her orgasmic high, kissing her forehead softly until she gradually realised which way was up.

“You okay?” he murmered.

“Mmmm,” she purred, reaching down to gently stroke his still-erect penis. “You seem to have a little problem here Fox,” she whispered seductively.

“Nothing you can’t fix,” he grunted, shifting beneath her.

She looked up at him, smiling devillishly before stroking him under the head, right where he was most sensitive.

“What about the dice?” he managed.

“What about them?” she asked as she moved down his shaft to his swollen balls and began rolling them gently in her hand. He moaned helplessly under her ministrations as she stroked his satiny sac before scraping her thumbnail ever so lightly over him, making him gasp at the combination of pleasure and pain.

“Do you like that?” she teased as she moved back up his length and squeezed him.

“Oh yeah,” he panted, thrusting into her hand. “More, please, Scully, oh God, more!”

She stroked him a little while longer then took her hand off him completely.

He whimpered in dismay until he saw her intentions.

She moved over him, straddling his hips and rubbed herself over him torturously.

“Pleeease! I want to be inside you sooooo bad!” he groaned so she obliged him by sliding down on him, taking him in all the way until he was sure he must be halfway up the back of her throat already. Slowly, their hips began moving in counterpoint and he moaned his pleasure but still, he wanted more. “Faster, Scully, faster,” he panted as she leaned forward and brushed the hair out of his face, increasing the pace to his liking. “Ahhh, that’s it,” he growled, pumping his hips harder against hers.

Suddenly to Mulder’s shock, Scully moved up and off him completely. He opened his mouth to say her name but no sound came out. He tried again. “Scully!” he gasped. “What…what are you doing?”

“Do you want me Mulder?”


“Are you sure?”

“Scully, stop fucking around already and make me come!” he growled.

“Mmmm,” she pondered. “Maybe I should get dressed. I’m cold.”

“What the fuck are you doing Scully?” he moaned. “Stop teasing!”

“But it’s fun! I like seeing you beg!”

He just lay there for a moment panting,and he decided to play it her way.

“Scully, get over here. I have to be inside you. Scully, please…”

She went back up to him and took him in hand stroking him lightly. “Like this?” she asked.

“More Scully, I need more…mmm…”

She moved over him, getting into position again as his cock strained up to meet her. “Scully, pleeease. I need to be inside you. Make me come, Scully. I want to come, I want to come,” he mumbled as she eased back down onto him, making him groan in relief.

“You know, you’re incredibly sexy when you’re desperate,” she whispered into his ear. “Shall I make you come?”

He nodded his head vigorously and, taking pity on him, she began thrusting her hips against his. He moved faster, seeking the release she had denied him for so long and she moved with him, throwing her head back and moaning loudly.

“Faster,” he gasped, thrusting desperately. “Fuck me Scully, fuck me…”

Already, he felt her internal muscles tensing around him. She was close.

He brought a hand down between them and massaged her clit.

“Mulder!” she screamed as she came, clenching around his cock like a fist and he lost it. He pumped his hips once, twice, three times before his entire body went rigid, moaning as his cum shot into her.

They collapsed on the forest floor, entangled and sweaty, trying to catch their breath.

Scully shifted off him slightly, aware of how she was lying on his injured arm and he groaned in protest as his cock slipped out of her.

“We really should get dressed Mulder, it’s freezing.”

“Five more minutes mom,” he muttered, already half-asleep.

Scully smiled at Mulder as she pulled his clothes on for him and fastening his coat to try and protect him from the cold chill of the night air before dressing herself and sitting down beside him.

She reached out and pulled him into her arms, trying to settle him down for the night so that she could share some body heat with him.

“I don’t wanna wrestle,”he said softly as she placed his head in her lap. He shifted slightly so as to be nearer to her warmth and winced as he jarred his shoulder. “One of us has got to stay awake Scully.”

“You sleep Mulder.”

“You get tired,”said Mulder, closing his eyes. “You wake me.”

“I’m not gonna get tired,”she assured him.

“Why don’t you sing something?”

“Mulder, you don’t want me to sing, I can’t carry a tune.”

“It doesn’t matter, just sing anything,” he murmered.

Scully paused for a moment before she began to sing.

“Jeremiah was a bullfrog, was a good friend of mine. Never understood a single word he said, but I helped him drink his wine.”


“Joy to the world. All the boys and girls. Joy to the fishes in the deep blue sea. Joy to you and me.”



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